Sunday, July 18, 2010

God's Love and Care in Action

God’s Love and Care in Action

For some time I have felt God’s Spirit talking to me about writing accounts of His wonders of grace and love in action into my life and the affects of these awesome generous acts of amazing realities of who He is.

I have a dear friend, whom I love so much, that often would say, “It’s not me, It is Jesus in me.” She also would say, “I belong to Jesus and Jesus belongs to me.”
My precious friend’s name is Monica. I met her in ministry at The Roc. (The Richmond Outreach Center) I am forever changed by her life.

I pray that God will inspire me to write what it is He wants me to write and that I put aside myself for His good and His glory only.
Holy Spirit please touch me now as I write, writing only your words and may these words enter those whom you have chosen to read these words. Touch the heart of the person who is reading this story about your love and grace. You are greater than any thing man can think. Without you we are dust and failures. But You, Oh God, are our Healer, Teacher, Restorer, and Savior of our costly souls. Because of You, we breathe.

I love to talk about God and what He does and the experiences He alone can do.
It is my favorite thing to do, is talk of Him and how awesome He is.
My Story is His story in my life. He told me that once, years ago.

I have struggled with sickness, weakness and fatigue for so long. I am no stranger to being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Life is hard, but God is good all the time.
I have experienced Him in profound ways, deep and personal ways, only He can do.
If you really think on it…. So have you. You have something to tell, something only He did for you.
After all, Jesus is real and active and moving in great and mighty ways, deep and personal just for you.

I will tell you a story of an account of God in action.
In Spring 1999. I became pregnant with my 2nd child. On July 4th, I began to feel very sick…in an odd way, like something wasn’t right inside my womb.
I was about 4 months along. I began to bleed. I went to the hospital. Before I knew what was going on, a Chaplin came in to tell me how sorry she was at my loss. I became filled with anguish and felt very dizzy.
After that day, I was in a fog for a couple of days…worse yet, a DNC could not be performed until 4 days after that day at the hospital.

On the way home from the hospital, my husband and I went to a restaurant to get a quick bite, and to also try to compose our thoughts before going home to our 5 year old son, Jonathan.
Sitting there, overwhelmed, I couldn’t eat. My husband said something about how he felt.
I didn’t hear him. I barely could acknowledge myself sitting there.
I then saw the look of pain on his face, but didn’t dare accept it. I could not.
I told him, “You got to be a rock for me.” At that moment, He buried his grief and became strong for me. What I asked of him was something beyond my own comprehension. What it did inside of him, was hard. I saw it.
I knew I could not comfort him. I had nothing in me to give to him.

My Aunt Cindi came to be with me and my family for awhile to help take care of us and encourage us the best she could. I was grateful and felt like with her there, everyone would be okay and their needs met. I went to bed.
I was mad at God.
I went to bed, whispering to Him out loud, “How can you allow this to happen?” “I am mad at you.” “It is not fair.” “You are God, You can do anything you want.” “So why did you take my baby?”
Crying, I feel asleep.

I had a dream. A very real dream. Every detail was clear and still is.

I dreamt I was in a beautiful bed filled with white sheets and blankets and tall posts with white sashes blowing gently from the posts at each corner of the bed. All around me is the most beautiful lush green grass and plants. I was in the bed in the middle of all this. Beside the bed, Jesus is kneeling pulling up plants and replanting. I said to Him, “What are you doing?”
He said, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted.”
I said, “No Jesus, this is not fair.”
I woke up crying and ran into the kitchen…there in the kitchen was Cindi and my husband.
I said, “You will not believe what God just said to me.”
I told them about the dream. I was crying and shaking.
I said, “Who does He think He is, I am mad. He took my baby.”
Cindi looked me straight in the eyes and pointed her finger toward me and said, “Who do you think you are!” “Are you talking that way about your God?” “The God you tell me so many wonderful things about.” “The God you feel so highly for and love.”
She began to quote parts of Job 38 and Job 39. With passion.
I could only stand there without words and listen with astonishment.
I said to her, “Do you know what you are saying!?” I ran and grabbed my Bible and showed her what she was saying.
She said, “I didn’t know that.” “I have never read that before, how can I know that?”
I went back to bed, feeling very different. Corrected and humbled. Asking God to forgive me of my attitude toward Him. Cindi and David went out on the back porch with the Bible, to talk about it and Jesus.
I rested well.

After about a week or so, Cindi went back to her home. I was still grieving, but with a different attitude toward God.
I decided to go to the Food Lion to get some thing for my family. I went in feeling sad and empty. I could literally feel the emptiness in my womb. I was walking down an aisle
And I said inside myself. “God I feel so sad still and empty.” “I need you.”
After a little while I was checking out at the register and I began to feel a magnetic pull toward the front door entrance of the store. There I saw a man and woman standing inside, straight in front of me. The man had on a pants suit and the woman a dress. Their hands were raised up in the air, in prayer. They were looking straight at me and praying. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. It seemed like time stopped. There was only that moment. I looked around to see if anybody else was seeing what I was seeing. Nope, no one, not a clue. I knew they were there just for me. Sent by God to pray for me. I felt my heart squeeze. I felt a little lighter, not so heavy or weary.

Later, about a couple of months go by…My husband’s parents hand long time family friends to visit them from New York. Charlie and Sharon.
They decided to drop by to see us on their way back home. Actually, what Charlie said was, God told him to stop at our house and pray for David; my husband.
We got in a circle and they began to pray for healing for David’s great sorrow over losing our baby. I saw my husband crumble and heave with tears. A snap went off in me like a fire cracker. I saw him. I saw my husband. With clear eyes.
I had forgot what I said to him, in the restaurant. Oh how it must have impacted him.
It replayed in the theater of my mind. I felt sorry, remorseful. I said to myself…what did I do to him?
I instantly felt compelled to comfort him and grieve with him.
I didn’t even allow myself to think of his grief before. I felt I couldn’t handle it before. I knew I could not have. But now I could and I would.

Later, David and I talked and prayed together. I asked him to forgive me for not being there for him. I told him I was proud of him and he was everything I needed him to be.
But I wasn’t there for him and I was sorry. We cried together and hugged.
I then got an idea. Our anniversary was coming up and David loves the beach…so we made plans to go to a hotel for the weekend over looking Va. Beach.
We wrote a letter together to our baby, whom we named Sparrow. A spiritual name, not a regular name. It comforted us to call the baby that. We knew too that the baby was a boy. We wrote a letter to him and went to the store and bought a big balloon and decided we would got to the beach shore and tie the note to the balloon and send it of to him. It was very healing for us. Together.

You know, to this day, whenever my husband thinks of our Sparrow, no matter where David is, if he is traveling, a Sparrow flies with him along side him and then crosses in front of him and goes upward and out of sight, at those times. If he is looking out a window or standing outside during those thoughtful times, a Sparrow will also come a and fly to him and land near him and then fly upward, out of sight.

Jesus loves you profoundly. He cares so much about your life and every detail concerning your life. You can tell Him anything and trust Him with everything.
He takes good care of His own.
Today will you let Him take good care of you?

Kim Wenrich
2 Corinthians 5:17
Psalms 139
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