Today before I even got out of the bed this morning, I felt my heart stirring inside me. I felt tears in there before I was fully awake. I laid there in the quietness for a little while. Pondering what was in my heart on purpose. I must talk to God…I don’t know what this day is going to hold for me, but I feel I must talk to Him about it.
So I lay there in the still and the quite and I talk to My God.
“God, I don’t know what this day holds for me, but You do. I trust You with my life. I trust You with this day.” I know you will take care of me.”
I look outside, it is sunny and everything is started to spring up in nature.
But, it feels dark and stormy. Why?
So I cry. I need to cry.
It feels like a sweet release, even though my heart feels broken.
It feels this way, because my heart matters to God.
It feels this way, because I matter to God.
Today, I pray and I cry. I cry and I pray.
No one can offer me the comfort my heart needs.
There is no tangible circumstance for it.
It is between me and God.
It a time of pulling weeds and replanting.
It hurts. He is drawing me closer to Him,
To become less of me and more of Him.
He has to work on me on the inside. Revealing His truth into my life and my heart. Getting rid of the things that tarnish His image of who He is inside of me.
When this understanding comes to me. I cry more, because of the constant Love and tenderness of my God in my life.
Oh, how I love Him.
He loves me so much, He continually searches my heart. Keeps watch on what is in there.
I need Him. I want Him. I desire more of Him.
I want to see Him more. Know Him more.
He offers me what no man can.
He offers me more than the world has to offer.
I know this and I am blessed to know it.
To experience the deep loving things of Him.
Who can separate me from His love?
No one and nothing.
Where could I go to hide from His love?
No where.
He is my Friend in my storms. Whatever they are.
Whenever they happen.
Have you ever noticed, when there is a storm coming in the horizon, you can sense it and feel it. After that as you look toward the skies you can see it coming.
My body even feels different as a storm approaches. My bones ache a little. I feel apprehensive and even a little scared.
Sometimes storms take us by surprise too though…One minute a clear, beautiful day, sun shining bright. Then suddenly a cloud is over you. The skies above you roar and thunder…the earth feels like it is shaking and the rain pours down all around you.
Have you ever noticed, that those unexpected storms, they don’t last long…only a few minutes and then the sun come right back out like it was just before that storm.
God is in those storms. He is our shelter. Our refuge.
We are never left alone in any type of storms.
Private ones, personal ones, unexpected ones, ones you felt coming, ones you saw coming, and even public ones. He is there. They will all pass.
The clouds will break and The Son will shine around your life.
Then I rejoice!
Psalms 126:3 and 5
"The Lord has done great things for me; whereof I am glad."
"They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."
“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance results in spiritual death.” 2 Corinthians 7: 10
“Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart.” Ecclesiastes 7:3
1 Samuel 16:17
“For The Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but The Lord looks on the heart.”
Psalms 139:23
“ Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts.”
Kim Wenrich
2 Corinthians 5:17
Psalms 139
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