I've Got Your Back

I’ve Got Your Back



Have you ever wondered what that means?
I have. Many times I wondered what that means after the first time I heard it a few years ago.
It may mean different things for different people.
It may mean nothing to some, being no one has ever had your back.
It meant nothing to me for a long time. I didn’t know someone could have your back.

I have a past. A very sad one and hurt filled one. Filled with emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse. Who had my back? All those years, who?
Those who said they loved me, did this abuse to my life.
So who did I trust to have my back?

I only knew two things. There was God. He did in fact love me and I prayed to Him all the time.
During those sad times, I cried a lot. But it was between me and God. No one knew I cried. I didn’t let anyone see my pain, my hurt.
I kept my face emotionless. I gave no one the satisfaction of knowing how they were murdering my heart and crushing my spirit into dried bones.
God knew though. That was enough for me.

I still didn’t know who had my back.
Others told me, how to be worthy of their love.
Others told me, how to think.
Others told me, “You are stupid.” “No one wants you.” “You are worthless.” “Don’t speak, you say stupid things.” ‘You’re ugly.” My rapist said, “You are only good for one thing.”

I believed every word. Told to me daily and nightly.
My insides screamed. But my face was stone.

God did rescue me. He did have my back.
A Knight in Shining Armor came to the aide of this damsel in distress, when I was at the tender age of 19.
My Knight drove a car that was a white mustang.
My knight is my husband today.
I married my Knight in Shining Armor, My Hero, My Rescuer.
For this Princess, God made a fairy tale come true.

God used my husband to show me love, true love, tenderness, romance, kindness and he guided me into a love relationship with God through these actions.
My husband, was patient and tolerant of me. I had to learn to trust. Learn what was a lie and what was the truth. This man said beautiful words to my heart.
He said, “You are worthy.” “You are beautiful.” “I love you.” “I want to keep you.”
He gave me my first candle light dinner. My first movie. My first run in the park, hand and hand. He put flowers in my hair and stared in my eyes. He wrote me poems and sung soft love songs in my ears.

I learned to cry tears of joy. I learned to cry tears of pain and sorrow in front of others.
To laugh out loud, to have an opinion, to love and to trust.
God used this man to help heal my heart. To save my life.

I can honestly say, when it really counted, My husband had my back then.

In between then and now, there was times of real trail and error. Pain and hurt and hard circumstances in our marriage. Even the question, would we get divorced, in some very difficult, hurting times. Times when he stole back my trust and put my love for him to the ultimate test. He didn’t have my back and allowed others to hurt me all over again in mental twisted ways. I fell under the abuse so easily. Being destroyed all over again.

I also knew how to handle these hard times. That was my life experience.
I was a professional at handling those things. I cried in secret, put on the emotionless stone face and screamed inside myself.
I can walk those type of walks.

I never doubted the love though. I had felt it and it had changed me before. I never once thought we would not recover.
There are times God Himself rescued us, as one. It took time…but God worked on the foundation that love built between us.

In has only been in the last couple of years…that I have the husband that I only dreamt was possible.
We are more in love now than ever before. God has made our love brand new, sweet and He matured it. Through the years, we learned together and did a lot of weed pulling from our own hearts, and still do. We continue to learn how to be the husband and wife God has planned for each of us to be to one another.

It is very important to have a strong relationship with God no matter what the circumstances.
God is the best back watcher I have ever known.

It may seem easy to give up. But actually to me, that is the hardest thing to do. So I fight to not give up.
I will never give up on my husband, my God or my faith. I have lost too much in life.
Those things will remain.

I often wondered why in the world did God put us together. I understood that this year, this past summer.
It is because we needed each other. God knew exactly what He was doing.
God had our backs.
He still does.

God is the author of having your back.
He is a Promise Keeper. He is The Healer and Restorer. Teacher and Life Giver.
He gave me the best person in the whole world to watch my back even if at times in my life he wasn‘t, he was a work in progress. God still had it covered.

I also learned how to watch his back.
We are a team. It will soon be 21 years of marriage and 23 years together. Those years has taught us how to be a team. God had our backs.

There has been times of hurting each other’s feelings and hearts. Times of loving. Times of changing. Times of growing. Times of crying and times of laughter. Times apart. Times together. In any of those times when we didn’t have each other’s backs, God had our backs.

Recently I was spending time with my Aunt Cindi and I was fussing about ‘things” concerning my husband. “He didn’t do this.“ “He doesn’t do that.“ “Can you believe he did, blah, blah.“
She turned to me and said, “You know, I feel sorry for him right now…your fussing so much about him right now and he doesn’t even know he has done anything wrong and when you get home, you will be mad at him and he won’t even know why.”
I thought about that for a minute.
I was nagging about my husband. Not appreciating what God has given to me in this man, even in the good and bad times. I remembered something David had said to me and I told my Aunt Cindi.
I said to her, “I was worried and upset about some things that was really bothering me that needed done and certain things that needed taken care of that I couldn’t do.
 He said to me, “Honey, don’t worry about it. I Got Your Back.”

I remembered how I felt when he said that to me. I felt complete release. Completely taken care of. Everything was going to be just fine. My husband is taking care of my concerns.
To have someone say that and mean it and then do it. Wow.
She suggested I tell him what it meant to me when he said that.
I did.
Because I need him to have my back right now. I want him to know, how I feel safe with him.
That I have trust in him to do his best by me. Not the best I think he should be, but his best that he knows how to be.
I don’t hold him up too high, I know we all have faults.
There have been times, I feel like him and I should put on gloves and have at it.
Of course I would “win”… win?
There is a scripture in the Bible that says something about, it is better for a man to sleep on the top of the roof of his house in the rain, then to live in the house with a contentious, nagging wife.
Well that says a lot there, doesn’t it?
But what if the man is the contentious, nagging one sometimes?
Should I go on the roof top in the rain?
He has his moments too.
But regardless of those times, when we don’t have each other’s backs.
I can always count on My God to have mine.

I can trust Him. I can feel safe with Him. I know He will be the best and do the best by me. I can be completely released of any worry because God has my back.
His promises never fail. His compassions are new every morning.
His love is everlasting to everlasting.
For God so loved you so much, that He gave His only Son.
He gave us all the opportunity to accept His Son into our hearts so that we can have a love relationship with Him and be Sons and Daughters of God. So that we can have eternal life with Him in Heaven.

Now that is someone who has your back.


My Sweet Beloved,

I will be Handling all of your problems and concerns today. That’s My job.
Your job is to give them to me and then to trust me.
Have a great day!   I’ve got your back!

                                     Love you so much,
                                                   Your Heavenly Father


Kim Wenrich
Psalms 139
2 Corinthians 5:17
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